Dealing with Rejection and Aggression
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Many volunteers working in the field of integration report about good experiences: They receive gratitude and appreciation from their clients, they have the feeling to do an important job and they get positive feedback by their family, friends and social environment. But on the other hand it may well be the case that they have to face rejection, incomprehension or even aggression by the refugees or by fellow citizens.
Rejection by Refugees and Asylum Seekers
Refugees often have to cope with terrible experiences and usually do not know what their future may bring. Usually their social situation in the host country is insecure and difficult. Waiting for the processing of applications und dealing with unfavourable decisions can be very frustrating for the people concerned. All these stress factors can cause reluctant behaviour towards the helpers. Rejection and distant behaviour can additionally be justified by cultural contrasts, e.g. traditions referring to the roles of men and women or of older and younger persons.
- Consider that the situation of your target group is difficult and stressful and that they perhaps see you as a part of the „system“.
- The problems of asylum seekers are various and it is impossible to resolve all of them in a satisfying way. Potential frustration and upset can be directed towards you although you are the one who tries to help. Keep in mind that the anger is caused by the situation and not by you as a person.
- You should not think that you are rejected if the people you care for show no signs of gratitude. This may be caused by the situation. Moreover, not every person shows gratitude in the same way. If you feel insecure, just ask if your support is needed and helpful.
- Always consider that cultural contrasts may lead to misunderstanding or irritation. We explicated the potential consequences of cultural differences in detail in module 2 of this online course.
- Talk about problematic situations with the person concerned or with other voluntary or professional helpers.
Rejection by Family, Friends, Neighbours or Social Groups
Unfortunately many volunteers working in the field of integration have to face incomprehension and rejection by their social environment, too. Neighbours or colleagues cast aspersions or show negative or hostile reactions to your voluntary commitment.
- You should try to accept that not everybody understands or appreciates your engagement.
- Reflect consciously why the support of refugees is important for you. Thus, you are prepared to present some of your reasons in a discussion if necessary. Request acceptance for your personal reasons.
- At the end of the day it is not necessary to explain or to justify your personal decisions. If your conversation partner does not want to accept your point of view you should terminate the discussion, e.g. with the words: „I think it makes no sense to continue the discussion. We simply have different points of view.„
Threats and Aggressive Actions
Particularly in collective housing many newcomers suffer from a lack of space and privacy. The constricted conditions in combination with cultural differences sometimes lead to threats or violent conflicts among the residents. Further, frustration caused by decisions of authorities in some cases provoke threats or aggressive actions against people working for authorities. As a voluntary helper you might be involved in conflicts of such a kind and forced to take action.
On the other hand there are more and more incidents where fellow citizens threaten or attack refugees and asylum seekers and/or people working for them on a professional or voluntary basis. In many European countries there are social or political groups that are very critical towards migrants and refugees and people who support them. In some cases this negative attitude entails physical aggression and violence.
What can you do when you are involved in a situation where you become a witness or even a victim of violence?
In general there are two main aims: de-escalating and getting help.
- Do not try to intervene in verbal or physical conflicts on your own. You should alert other professional and voluntary helpers, passers-by or in institutions the security service. In case of violent acts you have to call the police.
- Keep a distance to persons using force.
- If you witness violence leave the place as fast as possible with the victim(s).
- If you are threatened by violence make clear that you do not tolerate this. If possible, leave the place immediately and inform the security service and/or the police.
- Try to memorise the appearance of offenders.
- Report every incident of violence to your organisation. They have to document physical or mental injuries (e.g. fear or stress reactions) in order to file insurance claims.
- If you have to face threats or violent actions more often consider to attend training measures for de-escalation and dealing with violence.
- In case of racist violent actions you should look for respective counselling centres (keyword: racist violence).
- If you realise that you are not able to cope with an incident or a situation you experienced you should look for support – doctors, psychologists, counselling centres or specific contact persons in your organisation are there for you1.